February 26, 2003
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I spent the next two months in complete insanity. I was so distraught I didn’t write a journal entry until June. Here it is, again word for word:
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Friday 6/22/01 8:13 pm
The sadness that has gripped me since that fateful April afternoon is slowly eating away my heart like a cold, black acid. I haven’t seen her since the choir picnic, and a minute portion of me hopes never to see her again in fear of the emotions that may break my rough exterior. Every sweet thought I conjur up leaves my eyes moist and quivering and every thought that involuntarily invades my mind’s eye stops my heart for a short eternity. I see her in EVERYTHING. The paper upon which I write is almost as smooth as I imagine her cheek to be, and the ink of this pen is as dark as the heart of those eyes that I love so dearly. The songs of the birds outside my window are small interpretations of her voice and the sweet breeze blowing through my room is as fresh as her gentle breath upon my neck as we dance. . .
Am I so mad as to think these things? It has been proposed that it is not so far from madness to wisdom. I then propose this:
HOW FAR IS IT FROM WISDOM TO MADNESS?
Jake Boddicker 8:22 pm
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Looking back at this entry reflects the turmoil I was feeling. Generally I have sloppy handwriting but I can hardly read this. The writing is more like scribbling, lettering varies in size and angle. I remember considering for a time that perhaps I should seek professional help, but then I found a reason not to. I decided that I should ask others what I should do before I sought the advice of a total stranger. I asked everyone of my friends and people I trust. Except my parents; for some reason I didn’t want to get them involved. Eventually I had talked to everyone and found no help at all. It was then that I realized I had forgotten to ask someone: Maggie.
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Comments (4)
I sort of recall this era of your turmoil… It’s when you decided to grow your beard!!! It rocked! changed your whole image for senior year, especially when you had to shave it off for Studio one, I realized how the beard had changed your image for the best…
Well thank ya much there friend.
Actually I decided to grow the beard because it was summer and I got lazy but then I realized I kinda liked it so I kept it. hehe.
Hey buddy, the advise you sought? Was never run by me! I would have tried anyways!
Sorry Gil-Galad. I obviously wasn’t thinking straight. But hey, you helped me out with the BIGGER problem later. Thanks again so much. Later bro.