May 15, 2008

• A Change of Pace (Sacramentally Speaking)

  

  St. Mary’s Church in Tipton, Iowa

   

  Before I continue on relating how various women in my life played key roles in my vocational journey, I wanted to speak about how my faith played its role, or, how it has played a role as I so far understand it. Particularly in the Catholic Church (especially in the Eastern Rites!), we speak of “mysteries.” For example, our belief in the Eucharist, that bread and wine actually become the true and living Body and Blood of Christ, is a mystery (really? ). All seven of our Sacraments– Baptism, Confirmation, Eucharist, Reconciliation, Anointing of the Sick, Matrimony and Holy Orders– are mysteries. I have to date received all but the last two (not that I’m trying to “collect” them), and so it is that I must speak to how they have been active in my life.

  I was, like many of you, baptized shortly after my birth (about a month afterwards, I think; my memories at that age are a little hazy haha). I received this Sacrament at St. Mary’s Church in Vinton, Iowa where my parents are both from. A few years after my birth we moved from Palo, Iowa to Tipton and became a part of St. Mary’s Church (the one in the picture).

  Though no one but the priest realized it at the time, my baptism was one of the greatest gifts my parents ever gave to me. It opened wide the doors of God’s mercy and grace, consecrating my life for God’s will, separating me from the world as a member of His holy people and serving as a spiritual “betrothal” and “marriage” to Christ. The gifts I received at Baptism cannot be described or numbered, and only in these later years of life have I begun to realize some of them. With Baptism, though, comes a responsibility that it seems more and more Christians are neglecting to acknowledge.

  As Catholics we believe that we are baptized priest, prophet and king. Depending upon one’s vocation in life, these realities may be expressed differently, but it basically means to me that because of our baptism we are called to be holy, to be faithful witnesses of God in the world, and to remember the dignity of our royal heritage– in Baptism we become sons and daughters of God, the Lord of All. His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ becomes our brother and lord, and as Catholics we believe that Mary becomes our Blessed Mother. There is no king in all creation greater than our Father, no lord in all the earth above Christ the King, and no queen in heaven or on earth can rival the Mother of God in majesty, and it is into this family we are welcomed through the waters of Baptism. Puts a different perspective on how we should live our lives and how we treat ourselves and each other, doesn’t it? When I talk about Baptism, say, to young people here at the mission or down in the Lander jail, I challenge them to think about this reality before they are about to do anything. I challenge them to ask themselves, “Is this the way a son/daughter of God would act? Is this how I should treat a son/daughter of God?”

  So, certainly, by entering into this royal household and this divine reality, God began to shape my life as he shapes every life. Though I would not recognize his handiwork until many years later, it truly began before I was even conceived and took off in a quite radical way when I was washed clean in the Jordan of Baptism.

  In second grade I received the Sacrament of the Eucharist for the first time. I only remember a few details: wearing a white button-up shirt and a black clip-on tie, the cantor singing a song with all our names in it, and taking pictures with the priest after it was all over.

  What I didn’t realize was that the process that began at Baptism was being further enriched and fulfilled. My spiritual “betrothal” and “wedding” (funny how we wear white at our Baptism, First Communion and wedding (matrimony)) was being consummated as Christ and I, young as I was, truly became “one flesh.” Again, this is the Catholic understanding of the Sacrament. Being that we believe the Eucharist to be the Body and Blood of Christ, when we “eat if [his] flesh and drink of [his] blood” (John 6: 53) we have true life within us, and as Christ told us he IS the Way, the Truth and THE LIFE. In the Eucharist we believe that we become one with him and he with us, just as a man and woman become one with each other in marriage.

  First Communion, really, is a pretty radical moment in a young person’s life, though so few realize it, if at all, until many years later. I’m only beginning to understand the significance of this event, not only this first happening so many years ago, but also as I participate in it daily in my life as a Jesuit. Every Catholic’s hope, whether they are conscious of it or not, is to unite themselves with Christ as closely as possible, and it is made more possible, literally tangible in this Sacrament, and it is impossible for it not to change your life. If Christ unites himself to you in flesh and spirit, you will change and always for the better. The more open and conscious you are of this unity, the freer he is to work our Father’s will within you, and amazing things are promised to happen.

  I was Confirmed in 1999, which was my sophomore year of high school. All I remember of the event is choosing St. Gregory the Great as my patron, free pizza, and then meeting the bishop on the day of confirmation, and some of the festivities afterwards. I chose St. Gregory because I was huge into music, and the parton saint of music is St. Cecilia and I wasn’t about to be Confirmed as “Cecilia.” Or “Cecil” for that matter. So I settled for St. Gregory, who is the patron saint of singers, and little did I know how much he would pray for me from that day on. I enjoyed choir in high school, and I could sing well enough, but imagine my surprise in my senior year of college at the University of Northern Iowa when I was accepted into its top two choirs and was asked by the director of operas to be her star bass for the following year! Poor woman; it broke her heart when I told her I was entering a religious order (though hers wasn’t the only heart I broke…)

  I had no idea at the time of Confirmation as to what was going on, but what happened was the Holy Spirit really “kicked it up a notch” and began to work deeply in my heart. It was that same year, for example, that I made my own vows of chivalry and began learning more about who I was and who I wanted to be. I learned more about what was important in life and what wasn’t, and though I didn’t necessarily become a more prayerful person and a more active Catholic, the Holy Spirit plowed up the soils of my very being and planted many seeds very deep, waiting for them to sprout later in life when the rains of experience and the sunlight of grace would cause them to grow and bear fruit.

   

  Being Catholic for me from the moment I was born to the day I left for college in Wyoming was pretty simple. Being Catholic merely meant waking up every Sunday morning around 9am or so, brushing my teeth, getting dressed in something more-or-less decent, and piling into the car with the rest of my siblings. This routine was altered slightly if we had to go somewhere on Sunday, in which case we went to Mass on Saturday evening.

  And that was it! Being Catholic is SO easy! I am SO kidding, by the way! Not to say that it is hard; challenging would be a better word, but I would say, in many ways, it is easy.

  Anyways, there came a crucial moment in my life when the whole of my existence balanced on the head of a pin. One Saturday night, my first alone by myself in my dorm room at the University of Wyoming, I was setting my alarm clock. I pondered, “Should I go to Church tomorrow?” What a strange thought; it was now my own decision! Should I sleep in and not go, or should I just keep going?

  Really it came down to two things, both of them having the same outcome and all of them revolving around my father. I love my father, and going to Church on Sunday is something very important to him and I certainly didn’t want to cross him on the issue, even though I was “old enough” at almost-nineteen to make decisions “by myself.”

  I realized that, sooner or later, he would ask if I’d found a Catholic Church to go to, and I could answer him in the following ways:

  1. “Sure Dad, I found a good one down the street and I went there last Sunday.” (Lie)

        Outcome? “Thou shalt honor thy mother and father. Thou shalt not bear false witness.” (Bad option!)

  2. “No Dad, I don’t feel like going any more.” (Truth)

         Outcome? Yeah… not much better than the lie. I wouldn’t be honoring my father, certainly, but he would have been very upset and disappointed with me, and I wouldn’t want that burden upon me.

  3. “Sure Dad, I found a good one down the street and I went there last Sunday.” (Truth)

        Outcome? Sure I had to get up in time to shower, etc. for an 11am Mass (SO hard, I know), but that was OK by me compared to the other options. So I went with this one.

  It turned out that my aunts and uncles and cousins went to the same Church and God was so happy with me that he let me go home with one aunt after Mass for: free homemade lunch, free laundry services, playtime and Disney videos with the cousins and a free ride to Wal-Mart and the dorm at the end of the day. I decided that I would keep going to Church until I thought of an ironclad, water-tight reason not to. Never did find one….

  A few months later I still had only one friend in the whole college– my roommate. I saw in the church bulletin that they were going to watch The Fellowship of the Ring. I was totally there! And also in attendance were two men about my age, whom I instantly made friends with. Then the next day I made friends with their friends. In two days my friend numbers jumped from one to over ten.

  Then during the next semester I was invited to attend a Search retreat. I knew nothing about retreats, but I went anyways and it completely changed my life. What? Being Catholic can be fun and exciting? Huh? Reconciliation is awesome? Absolutely. Yes.

  The small candleflame of faith ignited at my Baptism, kept alive by the Eucharist and fanned by Confirmation finally lit my heart on fire and began its slow, all-consuming effort to conquer me. I grew in my faith over the next year and even joined the Knights of Columbus, achieving a years-long dream of become a real knight. I felt like I had one foot in heaven, and I loved loved LOVED being Catholic (still do)!

  However, that summer would introduce me to something I was completely and woefully under-prepared for– my first (and only) girlfriend.

  • 6:49 pm
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