August 29, 2005

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  PAGE 2 OF THE MYSTERY GIRL LETTER

  
  

  Still, I continued to pray and meditate on what God’s plan was for me, and there were times when I even tried to stop loving you, to imagine not having you in my life. I couldn’t do it, no matter how hard or how long I tried. The more I meditate on my life, the more I keep coming back to you. It took trying not to love you to realize how much I do love you. I feel God, through all these long months, has been forcing me to pursue you in the right way as He tells us in Thessalonians 4:3-5:

  
  

  “This is the will of God, your holiness: that you refrain from immorality, that each of you know how to acquire a [woman] for himself in holiness and honor, not in lustful passion as do the Gentiles who do not know God.”

  
  

  [Edited to protect a third party... nothing huge] In regards to my love for you, I have never prayed so hard for God’s guidance and influence for anything in my life. Back in November, when I told you how I felt about you, I was not lying. Nor was I confused. However, it was too early and I feel God has put situations and choices in my way ever since to slow me down, to force me to ask Him for help and guidance, to make sure I do this the right way. If we had entered a relationship in November, I doubt I would have been able to watch you grow more beautiful every day from afar, I would not have been able to appreciate the peace and comfort you bring me in times of distress, and I would not be able to love every rare and precious moment I spend with you. All would have been taken for granted. God has forced me to slow down and pursue you step by glorious and painful step, even coming so close as to losing you just to prove how much I love you, and how dreadful the mere thought of such an occurrence is to me.

  
  

  Ever since February I have wanted to tell you that you were not too late, that I still love you, even more so than before. Each sun that dawns, each time I see you, each moment I spend with you causes that love to grow more and more. But, as you are an extremely busy person, I have not had the opportunity to tell you directly. As of late you have been carrying a great burden of responsibilities and I did not wish to force you to carry another cross. So I have waited, hoping that perhaps a spare moment could be found to discuss with you face to face how I feel about you, hoping even that the poetry I gave you for Valentine’s Day might inspire a question that would lead you to me. This letter is the failsafe in the event such a spare moment, such a spark is not found.

  
  

  Mystery Girl, I have no words that could come close to describing how much I love you. I am sorry if this declaration frightens you; please believe me when I say that I do not wish to pressure you or frighten you in any way with it. I do, however, still wish to give you some insight as to my feelings, and I think that the main character of the play “Cyrano de Bergerac” knew exactly how I feel about you:

  
  

  “Surely, this feeling which pervades me, so terrible and jealous, is truly love; it has all the melancholy madness of love-and yet it is not selfish! Ah! How gladly would I sacrifice my happiness for yours, even if you should never know anything about it, if it might happen sometimes that from afar I might hear the laughter of your gladness born of my self-sacrifice! Each look from you arouses new virtue, new valor in me! Are you beginning to understand now? Can you account for it? Do you feel my soul a little, as it climbs in the darkness? Oh! But truly, this night is far too beautiful, it is too sweet! I am telling you all this, you are listening to me, to me, you! It is too much! Nothing is left for me now but to die! On account of the words I say she is trembling like a leaf among leaves!”

  
  

  The next page will be posted after I see a few comments… just so I’m not updating TOO fast for ya. Hope you continue to read it, and I hope all who do learn something. Anything.

  • 2:02 am
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