June 26, 2005
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“ROAD LESS TRAVELED
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth
Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference
Robert Frost”
I knew going into this discernment that it was going to be an incredibly difficult decision, to choose between two equally good, equally wonderful paths. It has been a process that has consumed my entire life since the end of January, and I have not shed more tears nor lost more sleep over anything in my previous life. I feel like I’m wrestling with myself, and the only way to win is to lose. Granted, either way will make me happy, this much has been abundantly clear. However, not being sure nor informed of the way I am to take has brought me to my knees time and time again. I know that a time will come and a decision will be made, but until then I will have to continue analyzing myself, learning my own gifts and limitations, search for what will truly make me happy and what it is that He wills of me.
The Robert Frost poem (above) reminded me of this choice I’m stuck on. I’m sure I do not have to tell you which path is which, but so far I am still looking down each one, trying to decide which will lead me to where God wants me to go. I’m sure either will be fraught with challenges and difficulties, but the destination is what is important to me. I don’t want to walk half a life time down one path only to be forced to turn back and start over. I don’t think I could bear it. Then again, I have been forced to bear loads I did not think I could carry before.
I suppose the best wisdom for now is to continue what I have been doing: waiting and praying.
I still ache though.
MYSTERY GIRL UPDATE: Whoever is the first to correctly guess what the current Mystery Girl update is will be a *cookie*. Today’s forcast: Cloudy with a chance of dripping sarcasm.
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Comments (9)
What are your parents thoughts about your possible decision?
Your life path can be a very difficult decision. Just know that if you start down one most of the time you can always turn around and go back. It’ll take time to reach that fork in the road, but by then you’ll have had much time and experiance to think about it.
Listen to yourself and at some point the answer will be so clear that you’ll wonder why you’ve not seen it before. Just know that whatever you do, God will be right there.
um, but you’re so good at loving the ladies. It would be a shame to lose a fellow hopeless romantic.
Well if I’m not wanted by them, I might as well be useful, right? (Don’t take that TOO seriously folks.)
First, the second to last sentence: Shouldn’t it read “will get a cookie”? Not be one… The former is far more sarcastic.
Next, the road you pick in life is never a straight line. Those of us who arrive at our set goal always follow the road and curves set before us, and even then there are decisions we make, that make the journey of life what it is. The poem “The Road Less Taken” by Robert Frost is a prime example. He never says which road is the one less taken, just that the one he took has shaped his life.
Crossroads are always a difficult place to be stuck at. At the moment, I’m stuck at one with Tina, as to if we’re just friends, close friends, or what. It’s a difficult place to be, especially since I’ve already broached the subject once, and don’t want to do so again. It’s a tough spot, but I’d like her to be the one to decide this road’s meaning for me now. If it means I have a close friend, so be it, but I’ll respect whatever decision she is to make.
Thirdly, not reading too far into the statement above, but I know several women who appreciate you being there for them, even if it is just as the role of a friend. I used to hate the term “friend” when it referred to a female, but I now appreciate all the friends I have, male or female. My only wish is that I find the right person for me in life, that I finally end the years of being single. Knowing that people I never thought would have girlfriends, be married do and are really scares me about my future. Yeah, I know, I’m stretching my optimism to the limits.
Being a hopeless romantic is losing it’s luster for me, though, because the pay-off in the end doesn’t outweigh the costs I make at times in the pursuit of the elusive term “love.”
Have a great week, Jake!
well geeze, Jake, you gotta play the field…
Sorry about my grammatic tragedy, Spidy. I don’t know what I was thinking. And as for claytoniantomb, you know I have a narrow focus when it comes to the pursuit. Love isn’t a good old-fashioned buffalo hunt where you ride in and just fire into the herd. Love (for myself at any rate) is unlike any pursuit in the world. It isn’t fishing (using bait) and it isn’t deer hunting (waiting for one to show up). It also isn’t bird hunting (walking around until you scare one within range). OK I’ll shut up now.
did you just compare women to buffalo? ;p what I’m saying is love isn’t always about that special someone; its also about finding someone you get along with and letting your inhibitions go. Make lots of girl-friends.
I imagine its most like snipe hunting.. HAHA.. yea… because snipe’s aren’t real… get it? Yea I know I’m not funny. Alia will be mad if you don’t come back Jake. And she’s going to take it out on me…. PLEASE DO IT FOR ME!