April 10, 2005
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“This just in.
Diplomatic negotiations between Ancient_Scribe and the intoxicating young woman known only to the public as “Mystery Girl” are still on hold. For over a week now Mr. Scribe, representing himself in the matter, has waited patiently for a reply. As of yet, no word has been received as to Ms. Girl’s feelings on the matter of an alliance against the Forces of Life. We turn to our field reporter for further discussion.”
“Thanks Ron. I’m standing here outside the Parliamentary Building eating a banana for whatever reason, hoping to hear from Mr. Scribe on whether or not Ms. Girl has reached a decision, or is otherwise prepared for a response to his confession. Now, this is just incredible. I cannot think of anyone who could maintain their sanity for a week, waiting on something like that. I waited in line to see Santa last year, and let’s just say that Santa throws a bada** left hook.
For me, Ron, this young man deserves a pat on the back. I know you are down with the ladies and I, well, I usually just follow the advice of Samuel L. Jackson in The Long Kiss Goodnight: “Usually I just pop ‘em in the jaw and yell ‘pop goes the weasel.’ But that’s just wrong, isn’t it?”
Yes it’s… quite alarming.
Or is it? Anyways, I just want to ask everyone watching this to pray you don’t see the results of this man going insane on this show because dude’s crying… that’s just sad. Ron?
What? Oh. Sorry. *yawn*
Mr. Scribe’s delegation asks our viewers to keep a lookout for Mystery Girl and that if you ever see Ms. Girl on the street, please inform her that Mr. Scribe is waiting patiently and that, although he wishes her to feel unpressured and to take this at her own pace, he would appreciate a reply before the end of the academic year. Please be polite or snipers hired by Mr. Scribe will be authorized to shoot you. We at Channel 4 news have digitally generated several likenesses to assist you in spotting Mystery Girl. Bob, could you bring up those pictures?
Oh… my…
Guys stop staring…. we’re professionals.
At any rate, this reporter has done a little of his own digital imaging, an image of what he hopes to be the end result of this long and arduous process.
Ah, that’d be sweet. Well, that’s all for this news update. This is Ron Burgundy with the Channel 4 Midnight News. Stay classy.
*click*
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Comments (10)
That was by far one of the most hilarious blogs you’ve ever done. I just watched Anchorman for the first time last night, and I was almost rolling on the floor from that movie. This had about the same effect, despite the depressing news associated with it.
BTW, I was watching my copy of A New Hope on DVD yesterday, and saw a glaring mistake. When Luke is first fighting the remote aboard the Milennium Falcon, the lightsaber he’s using is green in the beginning of the scene, and blue in the end. There were also some questions that popped into my mind while watching, as well. Han Solo gets his reward money, but there is a two and a half year gap between then and Empire Strikes Back. Why doesn’t he use some of that time to pay off Jabba? I never get that.
That was so funny and creative!! That must have taken a lot of time to put together! I hope all goes well for you. Hopefully this holds true for you: “All good things take time.” Have you told her that you would like an answer sometime soon? She has to know she’s causing you all this agony waiting. Well hopefully she tells you soon, I don’t want you to go insane or anything!
Have a great day. Good luck!
WOW Jake WOW
Hahahaha.. You’re silly.
Good luck with Mystery Girl. 
LOL Solon’s new high school is shaped like a penis. And come to think of it, I was actually rather chilly most of the morning. Hmmm…
*cracks up laughing*
*thumbs up*
What? No Brick Tamland with weather? Augh!
bravo, though may I suggest you start adding width=” ” to your image tags, in order to make them the same size? It would look better that way.
My super friend advice: Be scarce for the next few days, you’re so cool that you don’t need to wait around just for her answer.
hey!!! sweeeet, i have one more friend!
loved the anchorman thing, you’re so creative!!! good luck with mystery girl… just be patient, she probably just needs a little time. we women can be complicated like that sometimes — but i’m sure you’ll get the response you’re looking for soon!