September 2, 2005
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The Mystery Girl saga has come to what appears to be its end. Worry not; we are still dear friends, which is something that will never change.
But today I broke a heart. Shattered it, scattered it. Such lachrymosity has not been witnessed by me in twenty-one long years of life. Her beautiful face literally rained tears upon my tile floor, each one pitter-pattering like a rain drop. When I held her, my chest was warm with the tears that soaked into my shirt, and I knew she could hear my heart thundering because I could hear it too.
I held her forever, just standing in the middle of my room, my chin resting upon her head as she wept into my chest, her tears the rain and my heart the storm. We love each other so much, so much, yet both of us realized that right now God isn’t calling us to be a couple. She’d held back obvious signs of her affection for me all this time in order to help me find the courage and reason to pursue God’s call, a call she was hearing Him make to me as well. Though she admits that she prayed, constantly, that His will would ultimately have us being together, she sacrificed that want for what she wanted for me: to go where God was calling me.
I have never loved, nor been loved, so truly and strongly in all my life. To have someone love me so much that they were willing to sacrifice their deepest, heartfelt desires for my sake is such a poignant and touching realization that it makes me realize that there is a far, greater love than what I had previously imagined. The love we have for each other is going to last for the rest of our lives and bring us much happiness and strength for years to come.
Possibly having to give up something so wonderful as the prospect of being with her, as well as something I’ve wanted all my life is the hardest thing I’ve had to do. But it had to be done, and I do have a great deal of happiness in knowing that I am open to continue looking into the Jesuits. So we will see what the future holds, Jesuit or not. Either way, Mystery Girl will always be a treasured part of my life.
Laura, I love you.
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Comments (5)
I’m so glad things have worked out for you and she is still in your life. I hope you two remain good friends forever. At least now you can close that chapter of your heart and look to the future, whatever it may bring. Good luck with everything!
Take care.
Wow. Just wow. If I ever experience that kind of sacrifice I don’t know if I could take it. I love you so much Jake and I hope everything works out the best way possible for you!
I’m happy for you. FYI – and if I had used you excuse I could start the story out with, “You should see the other guy.”
words fail me.
Jake, I’m glad things have found a happy medium. I’m also glad you’re able to pursue Jesuits, knowing that Laura will still be a part of your life. Good luck!
Haley