“ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference


Robert Frost”

   I knew going into this discernment that it was going to be an incredibly difficult decision, to choose between two equally good, equally wonderful paths. It has been a process that has consumed my entire life since the end of January, and I have not shed more tears nor lost more sleep over anything in my previous life. I feel like I’m wrestling with myself, and the only way to win is to lose. Granted, either way will make me happy, this much has been abundantly clear. However, not being sure nor informed of the way I am to take has brought me to my knees time and time again. I know that a time will come and a decision will be made, but until then I will have to continue analyzing myself, learning my own gifts and limitations, search for what will truly make me happy and what it is that He wills of me.

     The Robert Frost poem (above) reminded me of this choice I’m stuck on. I’m sure I do not have to tell you which path is which, but so far I am still looking down each one, trying to decide which will lead me to where God wants me to go. I’m sure either will be fraught with challenges and difficulties, but the destination is what is important to me. I don’t want to walk half a life time down one path only to be forced to turn back and start over. I don’t think I could bear it. Then again, I have been forced to bear loads I did not think I could carry before.

    I suppose the best wisdom for now is to continue what I have been doing: waiting and praying.

    I still ache though.

MYSTERY GIRL UPDATE: Whoever is the first to correctly guess what the current Mystery Girl update is will be a *cookie*. Today’s forcast: Cloudy with a chance of dripping sarcasm.

So here I am in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Why? Well…

I know this is hard for many to understand, and I’m sorry if this comes as a shock, but for the past several months I have been looking into the priesthood as a possibility. Don’t worry; this isn’t some hasty thing that just popped into my mind. I have good reasons for looking into it, and that is all I’m doing. I haven’t signed off on anything yet.

Anywho, I’m up here living with the Jesuits on campus at Marquette University for the next six weeks, teaching inner city kids in the mornings and doing fun stuff with other more impoverished Hispanic city kids in the afternoons. Outside those ministries there is time to get to know the other Jesuits here, pray, attend mass, think, watch movies, and pretty much do what we please so long as we try and remember we are trying to live as a Jesuit. We don’t take vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, but we are asked to observe them the best we can. You all well know I’ll take them seriously while I am here. I plan to at any rate.

So yes, that’s what I’ll be doing until August 1st. Feel free to email me with questions or if you just want to email me in general. I’ll try and update when I can, and hopefully they’ll be worth your time reading.

MYSTERY GIRL UPDATE: Yeah, nothing. Haven’t heard anything from her since May. And when I did, she still had not read the letter. I have decided, therefore, that if she has not read the letter by the time of my 22nd birthday, (meaning she has not read the letter for 6 months), I will apologize to her for anything I’ve done to upset her and subsequently surrender all efforts to win her heart. I will, however, remain her friend if she so wishes. So next time you think you can’t wait another second for something, remember: you could be me.

Sorry this is so brief and that it has been so long since I have updated. My brother’s computer went on the fritz, so I haven’t been able to get online for a very long time. In fact, I am updating from his girlfriend’s computer on my lunch break from work. So hopefully I’ll have internet at home again soon. Tata.