So I told her how I feel about her. . . she was pretty shocked. Surprised. But she just wants to remain close friends like we have been, at least for now. She hasn’t really given any thought to being in a relationship with anyone right now.

I’m going to wait. Maybe more time together as friends will prompt greater things. If not, I still have a wonderful person to call my friend.

Though I am kind of disappointed she didn’t feel the same way, I’m really glad that she was honest. And who knows what time will bring. I am very patient, especially with things worth waiting for and this young lady, my friends, is worth the wait.

What a burden to be rid of! No more secrets.

So I speak with another friend of this mystery girl, and apparently this guy that wanted to date her screwed up. TWICE. He has not pursued her at all, so she gave up on him. This friend I spoke to tells me to go for it; I have a good chance at winning her over. And even if she doesn’t want to date right now, there is still promise in the future! And I will wait as long as it takes. This woman is amazing.

All I can hear is Handel’s “Hallelujah” Chorus in my head. Woo-hoo!

Man what a bipolar day. Started out in the dumps and already I’m in the suburbs!

Problem: Falling in love with new girl.

Desired Solution: Dating said new girl.

Factors to Consider: I haven’t told her how I feel. . . that’s the biggest one.

The “X” Factor: According to a source close to said girl, she is “sort of seeing someone.” Apparently it isn’t official, but it is in the very beginnings of possibly being a relationship.

Dilemma: Do I tell said girl how I feel, or would that be inappropriate to possibly disrupt a possible relationship that could possibly happen?

Result of Debate Over This Dilemma: *pulls hair out of head and bangs said head on wall, screaming profane nonsense and lamenting his ill luck*

Drat.

Sigh… still here. Going home for break today. Is there a magic number of days/weeks one should wait before pursuing their next romance? I’m new to this.

As for the pic, this is Alison Lohman who played Ewan McGregor’s wife in the movie Big Fish. I remember when I first saw that movie, how my heart stopped when he saw her at the circus. For a moment I swore I saw an angel.

So then it reminded me of times when such things had happened to me in the real world, beyond the silver screen. I’ve been blessed in seeing, meeting and befriending many beautiful women in my life. What an honor it is to know them, what a blessing it is. How torturous it once was to be cursed to ever watch and never be something more. Falling in love used to be a painful thing, and then Christine came along and it was wonderful. Now that it is over, I am surprised at how quickly I’ve gotten back on my feet. Perhaps credit should be given to the “cleanness” of it, the sheer honesty and inescapable truth. I can live with truth. Truth is simple, if brutal. There were no lies, no deception, no argument, no hatred. Just simple truth. Many people avoid the truth because it is so frightening. I revel in it. I wrap myself up in truth and dance. The truth sets us free, and it has set me free of any burdening guilt I would have carried if there had been any dishonesty.

Hope remains. There is always hope. In fact, in due time there may be another lady whom I will pursue in hopes of finding romance yet again. I don’t dare rush things for fear of killing any delicate, budding feelings she may already have for me. Patience is necessary. For now I’ll view this promised land from afar, waiting for the right time to dare wander another step. Wish this pilgrim luck.

Today around 11:15am, Christine, my girlfriend of almost one and a half years, broke up with me. . .

During the very early hours of June 6th, 2003 two people who liked each other very much became two people who loved each other. They knew it would be tough at times, but they were willing to do it because of their love.

On November 21st, 2004 it became too much and one of them let go. Alas I, my vows fulfilled, must move on. Goodbye my love. May life hold something greater in store for thee. I’m sorry for any way in which I ever failed you and I regret that my humanity limits me in many capacities, as do my vows to God, to church, to family. Not a single time, however, did my love for thee ever waver, weaken, or dim. No temptation ever overcame me, though at times I was hundreds of miles away in a place where secrets are born and remain for an eternity. Before I wash myself clean of my vows to thee, my love, I wish you to know that my love for thee was never in doubt or question.

What does the future have in store for me? I do not know. So I shall end this segment of my life the same way I end my prayers at night.

Thy will be done.

Did you thank a veteran on Veteran’s Day? Hope so, ’cause it’d have been a nice thing to do. What? You didn’t? Well gosh, you should. Heck, you can do it any time really. Veteran’s Day is just a day. Any day will do. Thank them every day! They have earned it! GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS HER SOLDIERS!

Man I love old black and white photos.