It took a little more than a week to work up the courage to call her. When I finally did get a hold of her we talked until she asked me why I called. Then I told her. I told her about how insane I was going and how heartbroken I was and that I wanted her to know that I didn’t blame her but I don’t know why this is happening to me. Her reaction was somewhat unexpected as you might grasp from the following journal entry. There might be a few mistakes; I can hardly read the writing because I was so distraught at the time:

****************************************

7/1/01       Sunday       6:27 pm

   I spoke to Maggie last night to tell her of my madness and to ask her for her help. At first, she had no idea what I was talking about, as if she had already forgotten my heart-breaking descent into insanity. I then explained it to her. After I was done and asked her, my last hope, {asked} her what I should do.

SHE DIDN’T KNOW.

No one does. I am hopelessly beyond help in this earthly realm. Am I to slay this love? Am I to starve it, am I to extinguish this flame? My heart is overflowing with want to the point of where it hurts to allow it to beat. My only hope is that Maggie will change her mind, or as she said some greater love will come.

HOW COULD ANYONE SURPASS HER? She is so beyond perfection on the human level that she is almost not human.

SHE IS AN ANGEL. She has to be.

Maybe William is right. Maybe I am too perfect for the women I love, so much that I make them feel small and undeserving of me.

CAN THEY NOT SEE THAT THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE?

When Maggie asked me to prom, my heart stopped. I, the so called “perfect me” don’t deserve to breathe HER air, or even exist in HER dimension. I am dust, I am a bug. I am here only to serve HER to my fullest. Every suggestion of hers is {an} order to me. Every desire of hers is my life-long goal. I exist to see her happy, to see that she has everything that she could ever want.

    Now I feel as if I’ve been tossed away with the garbage. I am broken, I am beaten.

    Love will forever be a festering wound within me, and the cure for my infection just. . . beyond. . .

reach. . .

                                Jake Boddicker   6:42 pm

****************************************

Was I a moron or what people? I actually believed these things at the time. I was ready to treat her as my queen, give her everything I had if she wanted it. I loved her so much.

    Ah, something interesting. After this journal entry is a half completed sketch of her face that is all scribbled out and written over it are the words, “Is it possible to create a forgery of God’s perfection? No, not by my hands.” Man I was one crazy guy. I wonder if I will ever be able to love someone this completely ever again or if the fierce flames within me have been squelched forever. Only time will tell I suppose.

    Heh, I’m laughing at myself. Man I was so näive! It wouldn’t be until August that I would receive a real killer dosage of truth. Yep, just when things were getting better for me. . . seems to be when all the shit really flies is when things are looking up. Uh oh. . . I’d better watch out. . . life isn’t too shabby right now. . .

I spent the next two months in complete insanity. I was so distraught I didn’t write a journal entry until June. Here it is, again word for word:

***************************************

Friday  6/22/01       8:13 pm

   The sadness that has gripped me since that fateful April afternoon is slowly eating away my heart like a cold, black acid. I haven’t seen her since the choir picnic, and a minute portion of me hopes never to see her again in fear of the emotions that may break my rough exterior. Every sweet thought I conjur up leaves my eyes moist and quivering and every thought that involuntarily invades my mind’s eye stops my heart for a short eternity. I see her in EVERYTHING. The paper upon which I write is almost as smooth as I imagine her cheek to be, and the ink of this pen is as dark as the heart of those eyes that I love so dearly. The songs of the birds outside my window are small interpretations of her voice and the sweet breeze blowing through my room is as fresh as her gentle breath upon my neck as we dance. . .

   Am I so mad as to think these things? It has been proposed that it is not so far from madness to wisdom. I then propose this:

HOW FAR IS IT FROM WISDOM TO MADNESS?

                         Jake Boddicker      8:22 pm

*************************************

Looking back at this entry reflects the turmoil I was feeling. Generally I have sloppy handwriting but I can hardly read this. The writing is more like scribbling, lettering varies in size and angle. I remember considering for a time that perhaps I should seek professional help, but then I found a reason not to. I decided that I should ask others what I should do before I sought the advice of a total stranger. I asked everyone of my friends and people I trust. Except my parents; for some reason I didn’t want to get them involved. Eventually I had talked to everyone and found no help at all. It was then that I realized I had forgotten to ask someone: Maggie.

I took the note with trembling hands. That voice in my head started chuckling in an “oh this is gonna be GOOD” kind of way. The paper made crinkling noises as I opened it and my heart decided to stop beating until I was done reading. Here is the letter in its exactness. NO WORDS HAVE BEEN CHANGED.

********************************************

04-26-01

-The Perfect Love-

Who dares claim that they alone have the perfect love? Is there such a thing so attainable from these hearts of flesh? There is only one who has rights to claim such a title. With words so beautiful and a heart to match you dansed (<- yes, she spelled it wrong.) into my life like a fresh spring breeze. You’ve showed me that one can possess such a longing that it could move mountains. Along with such power comes fear. A fear that is only present when the mind wonders to where it will. Whats in my heart is so minute compared to what yours is capable of feeling. Is all fair in love and war? If so then where does the mind go? If there is danger up ahead does not one avoid it? To protect the heart and soul within I dare not go nearer to the danger looming ahead blocking the path in front of us. You have my love even though I cannot give it. When the clock stops and time stands still, can I venture into the vast ocean in which I’m not ready step into. In time, I will step on the shore into something no human is worthy of having. Only then will I capture a glimpse of the perfect love.

********************************************

Confused? So was I. Many of that stuff made absolutely no sense and seemed like a strenuous effort at trying to be poetic. But I got the basic meaning. She just wanted to be friends. It hurt, I’m only human, and my first word was, “Why?”

So she gave me three reasons why we could never be together.

One: She was going away to college in a few months. Yeah like that’d stop me from loving her.

Two: She just wasn’t ready for a relationship right then. Fair enough.

Three: (I LOVE this one.) Her last relationship ended horribley. She was going out with a guy named “Kyle” and then this new guy moved into town. “Kyle” and this new guy “Thomas” became best friends and they and Maggie went to the same church. Well eventually Maggie ended up dumping “Kyle” for “Thomas” and the two stopped being friends. Not long after that Maggie dumped Thomas because she felt bad for what she did and blamed herself. Remember that name Thomas.

So yeah the rest of our get together was pretty quiet. I was fighting tears, she just didn’t have anything to say. So after like an hour of sitting there I got up and she followed me. I knew where the trail out of the forest was so I lead the way through the thick undergrowth of tough reeds and thorns. I hacked a path through it all with my katana, my anger driving the blade into the plants and also numbing the pain of tiny thorns driving into my calves and hands. We then reached a fallen tree and I told her to stand back as I kicked that tree’s ass. I was hacking through dry branches two inches thick with a dull katana. I was in a desperate rage. Then once I had cleared out the small branches I hacked up the brush and realized the path was to small to get through.

Now I got even more pissed at this damned tree.

There were three branches about a foot thick and probably ten feet long. Nice wet ones too; those are really damned heavy let me tell you.

They weren’t there for long. I lifted them up so they were standing and then let them fall off to the side. Then the way was clear.

I was sweating, breathing, and bleeding by the time I got back to the van. We drove back to my house and decided to go down to my creek. I led her to one of my favorite spots in the tiny timber along the banks, a clearing where the setting sun shines in just right and all the little ferns seem to glow golden-green. We stood watching the sun go down as I used a piece of glass I found to dig thorns out of my hand. It hurt but it was a better feeling than the one in my heart at the moment.

Once the sun was down we walked back to my house and she left without a word.

Me, I went back down to the creek. I hacked a dead tree to hell and when I was too exhausted to lift my sword I just collapsed to the ground and cried out, “WHY?!” to the stars and listening to my echo die in the distance.

For about a week after prom we didn’t say anything to each other. I mean, what could you say? Things were different now, it was like we weren’t friends anymore. Personally I didn’t think I had done anything wrong, I had told the truth. It felt like I had gotten a long-held secret off my shoulders and for some reason she was scared to death. It wasn’t like I had asked her to marry me.

So the week dragged on day by day and every time I saw her I made themistake of looking into her eyes. Every second in that glorious place seemed like a minute in heaven and lord did the crash back the earth bring me pain. She ALWAYS looked away but only after letting me stay long enough to exhale in peacefulness. Then I was kicked out into the vacuum of reality again unable to breathe. Here is a journal entry from the day before we got together to talk about this:

                          **********

Friday  4/27/01

Tomorrow I plan to talk to Maggie in depth on how much I actually love her. Also, I am anxious to hear what she wished to say to me after prom. I know what I want it to be, but I’m guessing that it is what I know it to be; something about her going to college and her not wanting to hurt me. I’m glad she feels that way, but I have to tell her the hard facts.

IT WON’T.

The only way she could hurt me is to love me and torture herself by not letting that light shine. Yes, going away will be hard but. . .

What could stop a love that can trancend death?

And if she doesn’t love me, that is fine. She doesn’t have to. I’ll be heartbroken of course, but I’ll get over it.

I hope

                          ************

Forgive me for being so childishly optimistic at the time, but that was how blind I was to the situation. I was madly in love with her and I knew that after I told her I loved she wanted to say something but she never did. I was hoping it would be good news but that little voice in the back of my head, the one a ALWAYS listen to know because it is always right, was saying, “How could she love you? You are nothing.” Well I paid dearly for ignoring that voice, as you will soon see.

She came out to my house the next day. It was Saturday and it was gorgeous outside. So we went to this timber north of my house. Way in the back is an abandoned farm and the largest building is a barn. A monstrous old barn. We went inside and said nothing for hours. I had my katana with me so I impatiently bored holes into the wooden floor. We were scared half to death when a gigantic vulture flew in through a hole in the roof, squawked, and left.

What an omen. A reaper of flesh and souls waving its twisted talons at my heart. Again, I wasn’t thinking that at the time. I was still holding on to that stubbron thing called, “hope.”

So we moved elsewhere, finding  a nice path that led up a hill to the east and then down to a tiny pond. A few yards east of that was a trickling creek. As we approached the bank of that stream an albino blue heron took flight. It was a magnificent creature, a unicorn of the skies. I thought for sure it was an angel, a good omen telling me things were going to work out perfectly. So we sat on a huge root coming out of the bank and dipping into the water. We were in the shade, listening to the breeze whisper secrets to the trees while the water giggled below us. After a few minutes she reached into the pocket of her denim skirt and handed me a note.

I still have that note. It’s even right here with me. I suppose I kept it as a reminder but it was also the obituary of my heart.

My first instinct was to think it was a poem. Ha, how stupid was that. When I opened it I realized quickly that things weren’t going to be good. It was when I opened that note that the breeze stopped blowing and a crow flew overhead cawing loudly and its cries echoed through the forest like a lost soul.

My soul.

Prom itself went ok. The food was good, the busride was a little crowded but ok. The music was terrible, but I think most music today is so, yeah. Whenever Maggie and I danced, we always danced to the slow songs and there was one song I don’t know the name of but for some reason I knew the words. We sang that song to each other as we danced. It was like magic I swear. Something clicked, or so I thought.

Well prom went on, me and my biology professor watched as people were like dry humping themselves, althought they called it dancing. .  . yeah, we talked about a new hypothesis we were gonna publish called “The De-evolution of Man.” It seemed everyone had reverted to a primitive albeit well-dressed state of being. Like dogs in heat.

The After Prom Party was held at the bowling alley in town and it was a lot of fun. After it was over I took Maggie back to my house where I had a suprise picnic ready. However it was menacingly cloudy, well, menacing as much as I could tell at 2 in the morning. So we went in the garage-now-party-house thanks to a wonderous remolding effort by my brother and father. There was furniture, a refridgerator and a table and I set up a tall candle and produced a bottle of sparkling grape juice (yummy), Italian herb bread, olive oil with ground pepper sprinkled into it, strwaberries, and some really kick ass dip. We had a nice little meal and watched “The Patriot.” While we watched it quietly it began to rain and the drops on the garage roof were quite soothing.

When the movie had ended and the credits began to roll I asked her if she’d like to dance. So we danced to the nice song at the end of the movie. After the movie ended the whole garage went dark except for faint candlelight. She was so beautiful with her long wavy hair, I could just barely see the light shining on one side of her face. She was looking straight at me as we stood there in a dancing position, and her eyes seemed to drink in everything. They looked like pools of fresh pure water under the shade of a big willow. I wanted to cry, I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to do something but I was in such awe of her beauty my mind didn’t know what to do. So we just kept standing there looking at each other for a while longer, and then it started getting cold so we stood there, her trembling as I wrapped a blanket around her and hugged her tight. The rain was quite steady now and the sounds it was making were absolutely beautiful. I love rain. There was also the distant rumbling of thunder and I remember thinking that perhaps the similarity to the sounds that distant cannons make was an omen of the devastation to come. But it was a brief thought, I was too happy to worry about what could go wrong.

It suddenly became so quiet I could hear her heart beating though my ear was up above her shoulder. It was then that I decided to say those fateful words that had brought me nothing but sadness before, but the funny thing was that I didn’t really say them but I did. Well, here is what I said.

“Maggie. . .”

“What?” she asked just as softly.

“I. . .”

Then she looked up at me and I heart her heart literally skip a beat. Her eyes were wide. Not in fear but they looked like they were wide in surprise more than anything. She went to the couch and sat down and I sat next to her. We sat there for hours in total silence listening to the rain and the sound of her heart beating furiously.

Soon gray sunlight was coming in through the windows and the little alarm clock went off. It was 7 and I needed to take her home so she could shower and go to church.

The ride to her house was in total silence except for the hiss of my tires on wet pavement. When I pulled up in front of her house I opened her door and shook her gently awake. She got out, thanked me with a soft hug and ran into her house.

I stood there looking at the door for a few minutes, the rain soaking me thorougly as I just stood there not knowing what to feel or what to think. Was this it? Was this what love was like? Had I finally found what I was looking for?

I had no idea then, and I wish I never did because as soon as I found the truth I realized that I wasn’t standing out there in the rain but the sky was crying for me because it knew the hell that I would soon be forced to endure.

10 more minutes until geology. . .  I wanna go home. . . . I was up until like 1:30 hanging with a couple friends in my room. That was fun. Hmm. . . I don’t gots much to talk about today. . . oh wait! I gotta keep the story of my love experiences going! Where was I. . . . something about an angel. . .. yeah.

Anyways in one of my classes in the 1st semester of my junior year I met, um, we’ll call her Maggie. She was lovely and we became fast friends. She was very, very intelligent and was my kind of person. This was late August when we became friends and it wasn’t until February I think I started falling in love with her. We were hanging out a lot and trusted each other entirely and just got along great. We were virtually inseperable. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. I still cannot recall a happier time of my life unless you go all the way back to pre-kindergarten when my life consisted of playing all day, watching cartoons, and living on a diet of PB and J, macaroni and cheese, and blueberry yogurt from Schwan’s. Yummy. Anywho, in February was her birthday and she invited me, my best friend, and a friend of hers to go see “Phantom” in Davenport. Not Weber’s “Phantom of the Opera” but and incredible version of the same story by someone else. It was spectacular. Well Maggie, her mother, and two other tickets were all by each other, and there was one ticket that was like ten rows higher, the very highest farthest back stuck in the corner crappiest seat in the entire place. I’d rather have sat on the toilet; at least I could express in a physical way that the seat sucked ass. Anyway I volunteered to take the crappy seat so Molly could be with her friends. The seat sucked but the show was great.

Yeah that was indeed a magical night. For some reason Maggie became the most beautiful woman I’d ever met. But it wasn’t until March that I thought I even had a shot at being with her. It was the final week of prom sign-up and I walked by the high school library where she worked. She stepped out and said, “Hey Jake! Are you going to prom?” I said, “Wasn’t planning on it. I don’t really have anyone to go with.” Then she said something that made my heart jump into my brain and beat the hell out of my common sense, “Oh that’s too bad. I was thinking of asking you.”

As Wayne and Garth would say, “SCHWANG.” Not really, but I love those movies.

So I said, “It would be an honor! Yes!” and she’s like, “Great!”

So I eventually heard she was getting a cherry red dress. I figured, “Hmm, maybe I should get something in black.” While flipping through the tux catalog I stumbled upon something that fit right into my groove, something elegant adn cool, something new but old-fashioned.

Hell yes, the zoot suit. Fedora and all. Pinstripes, baggy pants, those really cool black-and-white shoes. It was the best thing  I’ve worn and will wear until I get a suit of armor.

So prom came, I picked her up in my mom’s red converatble and while driving to the middle school to line up for promenade we had some kick ass swing music blaring from the speakers. We drew some attention. Come one, like a beautiful lady in a great red dress accompanied by a stud like me. It’s natural to look.

It was perfect. Too perfect. Later things began to fall apart, but not until after I said something I’ll regret the rest of my life. . .

This is my Valentine’s Day gift to the one earthly constant of my life: the beautiful women I call friends. Seriously, I could not handle being out here if it were not for my friends. You inspire me, you make everything in my life bearable just because I know you are out there. I’m truly blessed to know each and every one of you and so I have written a little “thank you poem” dedicated to you all. I hope you like it.

How does one give homage

To the Stars?

Tell them how beautiful they are

How their light twinkles in your

Eyes.

How does one tell a flower how

Lovely is its little blossom?

How sweet its smell, how gentle

Its kiss upon your inquisitive

Nose.

How would one tell the forest how

Holy and peaceful it is,

How majestic is its cathedral-like

Presence about you?

How would I, a simple pilgrim

Here in the wilderness

Of Life

Tell a woman how beautiful

She is?

How comely her step-by-step

Dance is upon the earth,

Her haunting eyes

Graceful neck

Musical voice

Brilliant smile

Soothing presence?

For any word man has released

From pen or tongue

Would do nothing but

Insult what words

Cannot describe or do

Justice.

How does a simple man say

Thank you to

His angels?

He adores.

Thank you my precious angels. It’s a hard life out here without you, but you are here with me in heart and soul. Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day and remember that love is a very real thing, something you realize but don’t understand, something delicate but indestructible if it is true. I’ve never known love before but I believe in it. It is worth waiting for, it is worth dying for and I will believe this until the day I die whether I touch love or not. *Extra big hugs and kisses* Happy Valentine’s Day!

HERE CONTINUES THE SAD TALE:

I told her I loved her. She was quiet for a time and then I went on to tell her that I would do anything for her, anything she asked because I loved her so much. She was quick to reply with a request: “Anything?” she said. “Anything,” I answered. “I want you to stop loving me.”

Yeah. My heart stopped. Odd feeling.

So that conversation ended pretty quick. We remained friends but it just was never the same. I didn’t get over her until the fall of 2001 when in one of my classes I met someone. An angel. . .

THE REST OF THIS STORY WILL COME LATER. HEY, IF YOU LIKE MY PLAY TELL ME AND I’LL POST MORE. IF NOBODY READS IT THERE AIN’T REALLY ANY POINT IN POSTING IT IS THERE. . .

HERE’S MY PLAY! NOT DONE YET BUT I’M WORKING ON IT!!!! Remember it is based on my actual experiences.

“Thrice Broken, Once Betrayed.”

CAST:

Jonathan: Young man who is the son of a respected politician in the local lands. He is very polite, chivalrous, and the people in town believe he will grow to be a great man some day. Alas, the one thing he wants in life eludes him: love. Every woman he falls for breaks his heart. In public he is a happy kind young man, in private he is a sad spirit, often writing his thoughts down on paper. He is very smart and often helps William with his schoolwork.

William: Jonathan’s best friend. His father runs the market in town and is often very busy. He is polite when it suits him, but he likes to pull pranks and get into mischief. He flirts with all the ladies, but appears to have a good and moral heart much like Jonathan. He is very handsome and athletic and fairly intelligent.

Josephine: A modest looking servant girl that works on the land owned by the local lord. She is Jonathan’s first love, but she bluntly refuses him when he professes his true feelings to her. Josephine is very clever but never went to school. She is a hard worker.

Maggie: Very religious, kind, beautiful and quiet. Jonathan’s second love but she refuses him on the basis that soon she will be off to a convent to give her life to God. She later becomes engaged to a former suitor and leaves with him to a town far away, never going to a convent.

Kate: Jonathan’s third love, kind of. She lives in the forest and is somewhat of a sorceress, she knows a few tricks and spells her mother taught her when she was little. She does not believe in God, but she is very kind and pretty. Jonathan warns her early that feelings are stirring inside him, and she politely tells him no, and due to that gentle honesty they remain friends.

Elise: A beautiful young servant girl often seen in the background. She goes about her daily tasks without anyone noticing her, but she always seems happy. She often sings beautifully to herself. Jonathan’s final love before his death.

Matthew: A young man studying to be a friar. Very large and often teased about it by the children playing in town. He pays them no mind, just continues reading his Bible happily. He and Jonathan become good friends. Very optimistic.

SETTING: Early 1700s in a small European town. The main set should be a marketplace/town square. Additional sets may include a church interior, a forest, and a small grassy bank with the edge of the stage being a stream.

ACT ONE

Scene 1

Narrator: Ah! How glorious were the days of yore!

When men courted a lady, tipped their hat,

When the sword was still born with dignity

And skill, when battle was a gentleman’s

Art. Happiness would seem prevalent, yes?

Nay, for I shall tell thee all a tale of

Such sadness all your troubles will seem

To be nothing but worms upon which you

May step upon and therefore rid of them

Forever. Listen well.

Open curtain to show square. Many people are walking through on their way home. There is much laughter and gaiety as a great joust had just concluded, as hinted by the gestures and words of the remaining two people as the throng passes on: Jonathan and William.

William: Did thine eyes view the sure and swift steed of

Sir Drayson as he rode to knock the hind

End of Sir Leon to the muddy earth?

(They laugh.)

Jonathan: Aye! I did view the mighty fall! Didst thou

See the fair lady waving to thee from

Her perch within the seats of nobility?

William: Fair lady? Nay, I saw her not! Why not

Did thee warn me of this phantom angel?

Pray tell or I shalt cut out your lying tongue!

Jonathan: I did not warn thee. . .

William: Yes? Tell friend, tell now!

Jonathan: I told thee not for the woman bore a

Striking resemblance to thine own mother!

William: But my mother was present there with the

Local sheriff, Sir Gyer. . . halt! Thine tongue

Speaks in a jester’s language, as if I

Were a fool! Aha, you have indeed struck

With a humorous blade my dearest friend!

(They laugh again.)

Jonathan: So, how shall two young men find their way home

This late in the sleep of the sky? For ‘tis

A considerable distance to tread

‘neath the grin of the wise man above us.

William: Fear not my friend, for behold! Mine ears hear

The clatter of hooves and the noisy roll

Of wooden wheel upon cobblestone!

Jonathan: Ahoy there! Sire!

William: Or pray thee woman!

Jonathan: Wouldst thou grant two poor men a ride tonight?

A simple cart arrives with Josephine upon it. She stops near them, looking at them with a large grin on her face.

Josephine: William? Could that be the prankster youth

I have known and still know despite many

A bump of the brain and erasure by drink?

(William is strangely silent. Jonathan looks at him curiously.)

Jonathan: Madam, may I ask thee of what crime my

Friend William has committed ‘gainst thee?

Josephine: Would thee consider the burning of braid

In candle flame a crime when the twisted

Locks are possessed by thine own precious head?

Jonathan: (looking at Will accusingly) Be these severe allegations of truth?

William: Aye, of truth these past actions are a part.

Jonathan: What say you to this lady now, my friend?

William: (bowing to Josephine) Milady, your servant humbly asks of

Thee thine forgiveness for acts performéd

By a child that did depart years gone.

Josephine: (she thinks for a time.) Very well, thou art forgiven young sir.

Climb aboard you two!

Jonathan: Thank you milady!

William: Aye! Thank you! ‘Tis a very kind gesture!

The two young men board the cart, William first. Jon pauses on the step to ask a question.

Jonathan: Dost thee wish for payment? A penny I

May have if my friend did not eat the thing.

Josephine: ‘twould delight me, but pay I do not need.

Jon checks his pockets, and then his purse. All are empty.

Jonathan: Milady, I am afraid the only

Gold you shall soon see shall be at the rise

Of sun in the morn. . . hold! A coin I spy!

Jon bends down to pick up a coin from the ground.

Josephine: What luck! God has surely smiled upon me this

Fine night! A coin in my pocket and two

Young handsome men in my little old cart!

They drive off.

In the Union. . .  .AGAIN. Sooooooo bored. Hmm. . . . what to talk about. . . I read an article in our college newspaper. The paper is called the Branding Iron and a buddy of mine writes a humorous article every Wednesday. This weeks was about how to snag a crush by being polite, saying please and thank you, and holding doors open for people. Hmm. . . I had that figured out as just common courtesy like 5 years ago. . . oh well. Society is slow to realize but quick to change. Hey I’ve got time. . . maybe I should start telling you all about my experiences with love. Note that the names have been changed to protect the innocent AND guilty.

    I met my first true love when I as a freshman. It was October and the marching band was done for the night. It was dark out and I was behind the high school with my friend. . . um. . . “C”. I was gonna go to his house and we wanted to get a ride. Well we saw someone he knew from track and we asked her if she’d mind. She smiled sweetly and said “hop on in.” I swear I fell in love with her that exact second. She had a brilliant smile and I was just so taken by her. So she dropped us off at his house and I gave her a quarter I had found on the ground that night and told her thanks for the ride. I asked for her name and she told me. In this narrative I will refer to her as “Josephine.” (nice name)

    So we eventually became better and better friends. She was a very caring, intelligent, and fun person to be with and I kept trying to work up the courage to tell her how I felt. Well then she approached me, telling me that she had something important to tell me. She was totally crazy about one of my friends but she also already had a boyfriend. She wanted me to find out how my friend felt about her so she could decide whether to dump her current guy for my friend. Well I found out my friend liked her a lot too so she dumped this guy her family thought the world of and soon enough my freshman friend was dating my junior crush. Wow that sucked. Well they lasted all of a few weeks. They had a horrible prom, she kept complaining that he was a terrible kisser and they eventually split. Me and her and me and my friend stayed close friends and my feelings for Josephine got stronger and stronger. She would call a lot and we’d talk for hours about whatever and one night I did the unthinkable. I asked her if I could say something, but only if she promised not to freak out. She said, “Sure, whatever. You’ve never said anything to hurt me before so say what you need to say.” I told her I loved her. . .

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR THE EXCITING CONCLUSION TO THIS EPISODE OF, “THE TRAGIC LIFE OF THE POET.”